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Buttercup

 

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Hello, sorry to intrude, I am pro-gay rights, have gay friends, etc. :-)

A gay friend, Richard, passed away on March 31. We're from same hometown. His family and mine attended same church in our teens. We both moved away years ago. Richard was 2 years my senior.

Richard came out sometime in the mid-1990s.

My sister and I are noticing that only 4 people have signed Richard's funeral memorial online wall (it's been established since 3 days ago). No family has posted. No photo of Richard. There is NO actual newspaper obituary for Richard where he'd resided in adulthood, and none in our hometown newspaper. :-( He's been cremated.

There is supposedly going to be a Celebration of Life in Richard's honor later, in our hometown; but no further word on that. No date set.

Sister and I (especially me) are thinking this is homophobia at work. Sorry if that sounds naive, but we're both straight and obviously haven't had a lot of direct experience with homophobia.

Or are we jumping to conclusions? I'm also thinking Richard's family, who are near enough to those Westboro loons, might want to protect him and themselves.

Richard was like a brother to my sister and I. We are really hurting, and concerned for his memory being properly respected and honored.

Will someone please provide me an insight? It'd be appreciated, and thank you. :-)

Admin



Joined: 2009-03-18
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Hi Buttercup and sorry for your lose.  It is hard to tell what is going on.  Perhaps he wasn't that close to his family anymore because they didn't accept his sexuality and that is why you are not seeing much through the avenues you are familiar with.  He is probably being honored and remember by his lgbt family  - perhaps not publicly on line.  They are probably doing it more locally and in private.  I would start with anybody you know that he would have been friends with - outside of the family.

best of luck.

Buttercup

 

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Okay, thank you.

Still absolutely no word from his family. :-( No updates, no newspaper obituary (printed or online), absolutely no family presence at the funeral home space for him.

They were formerly, when I knew them (and prior to his coming out), a large and close-knit family.

Must be homophobia. :-(

I lost contact with these folks over 25 years ago. But silence speaks volumes.

So sad, for every reason. Richard was one of the nicest persons I've ever known.

My sister (who is also straight) and I are planning our own memorial for him, including releasing helium balloons.

Last edited on 2014-04-25 03:59 pm by Buttercup

Buttercup

 

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p.s.: I've made an initial (hopeful) contact with an online gay resource in his last area of residence.

I'm also a novelist, hope to have my 1st novel published soon (Clive Barker follows me on Twitter - yay!), and will dedicate the story to Richard.

Thanks again. I'll respectfully bow out now, unless more replies are forthcoming.


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