Everything was perfect, then circumstances and fear parted us, she grew cold, emotionless.. sending me off every time I try to talk to her about our relationship.
The person I knew utterly now seems like a complete stranger to me, she talks as if we never had anything, especially not a love relationship, and she talks as if the breakup was expected and the most normal thing to do after such a soul-to-soul bond.
It has been almost half a year, and we haven't spoken once for over 5 minutes about the breakup, she ignores me and refuses to talk about it, telling me there is nothing left to say and everything is over and done.
Our feelings were always in line, and I still love her.. I felt that she loved me, she was free with me, she was herself.. Everyone used to tell her how she changed for the better, being happier, stronger.. and last night she told me that, what she is now is her true self.. And it is just not possible, because she was never so cold and harsh not even before our relationship. I believe she is in deep, deep denial.. and I have no idea how to reach her.
She even said I am like everyone else, like her ex partners.. which was the most hurtful thing she ever said to me, because I know her ex partners and she did not love any of them, and they were all men ( she was not as comfortable with them, nor herself as she was with me)..Our relationship is not even comparable with any of our past relationships, it hurts to even think about that because I know just how pure our emotions were and how happy we both were each and every day, loving ourselves and life.
She told me to get real and more mature, but she never even told me the reason why she broke up, and she was the one being immature and breaking up such a relationship heartlessly and refusing to even meet me and talk face to face. We dated for one and a half years, and before that we were good friends for years. Everything was more than perfect, and all of a sudden the enormous love she used to talk about just ended? How could I ever believe that is true?
Never have I felt so loved and understood from the very soul, as with her..
And i feel that she is the one for me and no one else...
She used to be more than horrified with the idea of us not being together, and how she broke it off like it didn't even hurt her one bit..
I believe she is under the coercion of fear and she will not be happy with the life she chose.. I was her only true friend and the partner she always dreamed of, and I know that she never wanted to break up before those circumstances(family etc.) got in the way.. She even said that to me..
What do I do now? I want to keep on fighting for her.. but she seems as cold as a stone..
I can not imagine my life without her, and I wish her happiness which I know she won't find where she is heading to now..
She is ruining both our lives now.. when everything could be perfect..
We wanted to move in together in May, and she was so happy about it..
I have never been this lost and suicidal in my life.. and I see no escape from despair..
Please excuse my bad English, and the length of this note..
I thank you all in advance..
I am so sorry to know what you are going through. I am a twelve year old adolescent that has been struggling with my bisexuality for years. I have gone through the same situation, where my girlfriend broke up with me for a guy. It hurt so much, and I felt like my life was over because she was a big rock for me and what was going on at school and home with bullying and divorces and such. I wanted to die so much, and get her back. But after a lot of thought and time, I realized that maybe she's happier. I see her laughing and holding hands with her boyfriend, and I am now free to see other people. It was hard, and we barely talked, but please believe that you will get through this.