LGBT Community Forum - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered & Drag Network > All Inclusive - Our Entire LGBT Community (scroll down for sub-groups such as drag, lesbian, youth) > Emotional Support > Your Struggle > Sorting out myself... need guidance? (long post)
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|Hi I'm new here. I joined because 90% of the other forums I've been to just aren't helpful and full of trolls. I have a problem, I don't really know what I am... I've been playing the standard role of faithful straight wife for four years now. I'm doing a pretty good job i think... But last year I kinda snapped. I hate that I've been acting straight for four years when I know damn well I'm bisexual. I love chicks, I love them all, but I'm going to be loyal and faithful too. I keep wanting to wear men's clothing instead of my regular ugly stuff and I chopped my hair and I'm changing back to my old self so fast I can't even stop myself. I've been having identity issues since... forever. I could never decide what I was so I just adopted the female endearing stereotype. Who am I really? I love my husband but I don't know what the hell is the matter with me. Why can't I just stay the gender I was born?
I know that blurb was big and awfully structured, but the whole topic just confuses the hell out of me. What is a crazy wife/thing to do.
Last edited on 2013-02-01 10:23 am by splinterstar
|So tough to figure this stuff out while married! But you certainly aren't the only one - just search the posts here and you will see others who have dealt with the same. The best thing you can do is first get yourself sorted out and then be completely honest with your husband.
At one point you spoke as if you are a bisexual and then you mentioned not being happy with your gender. Those are two different things.
Being bisexual/lesbian means that you like being a woman and you are also attracted to women. You may not be a real feminine woman, or a "lipstick lesbian" to coin a term, but you enjoy being a woman just the same. For me, I'm a lesbian but I prefer clothes that are more like a man would wear. I have never worn makeup or a dress or heals. But, I luv being a woman and I luv other women.
On the flip side, if what you are feeling is that you aren't happy with your gender, don't like your body parts, and you really want to be a man, what you may be looking at is being transgendered. (I may be articulating this part a little incorrectly). There is a transgender section below and you will find much information on the subject.
Just from what I read I think you are probably bisexual or will be eventually lesbian. But only you really know. Just remember - that you will not be able to hide from this. I know it is extremely difficult when you are committed and married, but honesty is always the very best policy - especially if you truly luv and care for your husband. He deserves total honesty so that he isn't living a lie.
Get your thoughts straightened out and then be honest. It may be difficult at first, but in then everyone will be happier and live a much healthlier life. Keep us posted - we're here for you.
Take a deep breath - it will all be OK.