So... I don't even know how to begin... I have always been girly and not even once, I have ever thought of myself as a boy... I have long hair since i'm 6 or 7 years old... I've always liked to dye my hair and skinny jeans and i try my best to look like a girl (Within moderation) so people have always had a "hint" i'm not a "normal boy", But i still even though i wanted people to know, I've always been afraid of saying it out loud so i lived like this for a long time, Trying to stop time so i could keep my body as feminine as i could, Because that's the only way i can live with myself... So this is how it turned out... i spent a weekend at my aunt's house, And she is a very open minded woman, In fact, my cousin is lesbian so she's very familiar with the situation. Everything was fine, untill i went to take a bath, and my leg was very hairy and i used the razor, Without thinking of the consequences. A few minutes after that, She walked in and asked my cousin if she had shaved her leg, She said no, And to avoid further problems, i had to tell her it was me. She talked to me in private, And told me she knew and that i could trust her, So i told her, i was, indeed, Very confused. A week after that, My dad found out and confronted me and i told him, i see myself as a girl and not as a boy... He was shocked but he was quite comprehensive, and he said he would pass by saturday to talk about it with my mom and i... The problem is, i hadn't told my mom yet... I mean, we had that conversation before, and i told her i felt like a woman and i wanted to be one... She got really upset so the next day i said i was a lie because i was really scared, she forgot it over time... That was 1 year ago... so 2 days ago, i was decided i was going to tell her, so i waited for her to get back from work, and i told her... She wasn't surprised, she said she knew, and she would always love me no matter what... I felt so relieved to tell my mom and to know i had her support... It didn't last long. yesterday before i went to bed, i've heard her crying and i asked her what's wrong, She got agressive and told me i was a mistake, And that i am sick in the head and that i should accept being a male and that i should die and alot of horrible stuff... I feel like crap... I've never felt so humiliated in my whole life... i need some advises please... sorry for the long text. xx
I am so sorry that your mom let out her emotions on you like that! As a parent she should always protect you from even her own struggles. You did the right thing by telling her how you feel and you should not be embarrassed. The way she responded is her problem and her character flaw, not yours. That being said, maybe just give her a bit of time to adjust. Parents do not typically lose their love for their children and she will come around and be an important support for you. She has to take in the information and adjust. She has to go through a similar process you went through when you first figured out how you felt.
In the meantime, stay strong and know that you are a beautiful person and that there are others who feel like you and have been able to adjust and have a happy life. There is a transgendered section below (scroll down) with alot of great information for you.
If your mother keeps abusing you by calling you names, you will need to find somewhere else to stay with someone who is more understanding. Protect yourself and love yourself.
marshmallow's advice is right on. I just wanted to give you some resources, because honestly there are a lot of places online that will be much more helpful to you than here. Some excellent places to start: