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Bisexual relationship
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 Posted: 2012-03-02 09:21 pm
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Loulou

 

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Hi!
I'm a girl, I'm still quite young but I'm in a very serious long-distance relationship with my boyfriend.We even want to move in together soon.
However, I really really miss being in a relationship with a girl. I've only had one rather physical relationship with a girl yet, nothing serious, but i've always liked girls. My boyfriend used to allow me to have a girlfriend until he got jealous.
I'm really confused about it and although my boyfriend is really cool and we have a great sex life too, I'm still often sad I cajavascript:emoticon(':whatever:', 'images/emoticons/rolleyes.gif')n't be with a girl. It makes me feel like this is not entirely myself and there's something missing.
I would look at hot male movie stars and not wish I was WITh them but I was LIKE them, only in a more feminine version.
Some people have told me they thought I was lesbian and were surprised I had a boyfriend.
I'm sorry this text is sooo long...
I would be incredibly thankful if you have a piece of advice for me or your own experience to share.
Please help!:?:?

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 Posted: 2012-03-03 05:37 am
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marshmallow

 

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Hi and welcome to our community.  After reading your post it certainly seems to me like you are defnitely bisexual - if not lesbian entirely.  It is pretty common for lesbians to first think they are bisexual and then slowly realize all they really want are women! 

You owe it to yourself and your boyfriend to be completely honest about your sexuality.  At least take some time for yourself to figure things out.  It will really complicate the situation if you let youself get into a relationship where you need to seek your partner's approval before being able to explore women.  So, I think you really need to honor who you are and allow yourself to grow.  You also need to be honest with your boyfriend so he doesn't get hurt.

Don't let this get you down, confused or unhappy.  It is a beautiful thing and you should absolutely enjoy the process of getting to know yourself.  You can't make a wrong choice if you make the one that is right and natural for you.  Keep us posted! 

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 Posted: 2012-03-03 06:44 am
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Loulou

 

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Hi marshmallow!
Thank you so much for your friendly reply. I know my boyfriend will say he can't become a girl and I should be satisfied with "what I have", but I'm gonna talk to him about that.
Btw... I hop this is not a too innappropriate question... do you know if lesbians are sometimes turned on by men too? Because that is my case (but only with very few men^^).

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 Posted: 2012-03-03 06:56 pm
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marshmallow

 

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That is a perfect question.  I would say that most Lesbians are not turned on by men.  Speaking for myself, I am not at all - not one bit.  I might notice that a man is a cutie - but I'd never want to vist his nether regions - yuck.  (no offense guys - )

So, perhaps you are bisexual - which is fine.  You would just have to eventually settle in with someone who has stolen your heart - whatever sex they are.  For now though, it seems like you still want to be with women as well as men and it seems like you definitely need to find an open relationship that will allow you to do that.  It is something that can not be ignored.  Perhaps you just need to date for a while.

 

 

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 Posted: 2012-03-03 07:32 pm
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Loulou

 

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Thanks again for your answer, marshmallow :)
I kind of already thought that i can't be lesbian because otherwise I just wouldn't like "it" with my boyfriend. however I can't really date because I don't want to lose him - he's very important to me and I feel like he's my soulmate. We were in an open relationship before, and then I talked about breaking up with him for a while (because he used to put pressure on me - he wants kids and I don't etc...). And during that time I dated a girl... and that hurt him so much that he doesn't want an open relationship anymore, especially because he juste feels more comfortable in a "normal" relationship. Do you have any idea, by any chance, how I could make him feel more at ease with this or if it's fair at all?

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 Posted: 2012-03-05 07:05 am
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marshmallow

 

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I don't really have too much advice on how to convince him to be into an open relationship.  When it comes to open relationships I sorta feel like people are either wired to be ok with it or they are not.  Not sure it is something you can force on him.  All I can say is it seems like you are just in a situation where you have to make a decision.  Always remember to be honest and above board with him - and any women you date.  Everyone deserves the truth. 

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 Posted: 2012-03-05 12:29 pm
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Loulou

 

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Hi marshmallow!
Yes, I wouldn't want to force anything on him, and he told me he can't be happy in an open relationship. And I don't want to break up with him, so I'll just have to deal with it.
Thank you so much though!

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