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aikon

 

Joined: 2010-10-19
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so when I was 14-15 I came out to my mother but it wasn't pretty we fought about it and she told me it was wrong because God said it was.... I cried like the little school girl I was we never really spoke about it again but being a child I wanted nothing more then to make her happy so I went "straight" for her and even went to church for her but now I am 22 and wanna come out for the second time came anyone give me some advice?

Admin



Joined: 2009-03-18
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I think the most important tool for you to come out is to be strong and self confident about who you are.  Your mom will probably have the same reaction as before so you have to be prepared.  Realize that you may need to give her time to accept the reality of having a gay child. 

When I came out to my parents they were very unhappy with the situation.  However, they were willing to work with me.  We made an agreement that I wouldn't come out to any of their friends or the rest of the family.  I lived in a different state by then so that was an OK compromise for me.  We set a few years as a date to renegotiate the situation.  This may not be a workable compromise for you so come up with one that works.  Currently, I am living locally to my family and out to everyone and my wife (we got married in Canada) is a part of the family and loved dearly.   

As I mentioned earlier, the most important thing is to be strong and confident in who and what you are.  Have a plan before coming out.  This plan could include:  1 - the compromise you are willing to make on a temporary basis as your mom gets more comfortable with the reality; 2 - where you will go if you are asked to leave the house and 3 - contact your local PFLAG and get some literature that she can read.  Offer to go to a meeting with her so she can meet other parents who have accepted their children and who can provide her with a positive outlook/perspective.  If she is unwilling - leave the pamphlets with her so that she can look at them when she is ready. 

You are a beautiful person who was born gay.  Remember this as you proceed forward and remember that you can not control how others respond to you - so stay centered and strong with your own identity and move forward with love toward yourself.  If you havent' already discovered a local lgbt family of friends, remember that there is a loving community of lgbt family/friends who will take you in with open arms.

Keep us posted!

roberthere

 

Joined: 2011-06-13
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I agree to admin completely on this. You have to first build confidence in you before talking to your mother or any of your friends.. They might take time to realize things and to accept them..People might pass negative comments at you, please don't be sad for that.. Try to take professional help if you feel like..


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