I am 33 years old and recently married to a wonderful girl. However I am finding myself in a bit of tight spot. Im attracted to her,love her etc,but i find i am also attracted to men at times..like i go through moments of fantasising about it, and lately its been more and more. Ive had experiences in the past ,some i didnt enjoy but others i still think about. My most recent experience was 2 years ago before i started dating my current wife. I had just broken up with a girlfriend, and i had been working for a gay older man.Whilst we were dating (it was a terrible relationship) i had had a few experiences with this man. Some i enjoyed and even initiated and some i got really panicky after,like somewhere between panicky and regretful and guilty...after the break i had one more experience with him and that was it. I had even considered dating a man,giving it a try..why not? i had had some good experiences over the year,i just wouldn't have dated such an older man ( he was 54)...Then I met my now wife..its been a rocky road and the first few months of our marriage has been so tough,ive considered ending it at times but part of me doesn't want to give up on us..but then there's these feelings and i dont know what to do with myself sometimes,ill watch some gay porn,even read through craigslist but never actually take the next step...i dont want to hurt anyone..i was so hurt by women over the years and i guess when i had considered dating a man I was at that point where anything to make my life brighter would be a good thing...Im sorry if this seems like a big jumble of crap, please dont judge me..i love my wife,i am not sure if im in love with her and im not so sure about who i am anymore..
Sounds like you have a consistent history of exploring with men. Bisexuality is hard to bury. It will always come back. There are different levels of bisexuality. Some people lean more toward being straight, with a little bi influence, others are more solidly bi.
You owe it to your wife to figure out who you are. She deserves an honest relationship. This will not go away so you must explore.
Whatever you find out, know that you are just fine the way you are and being honest with your wife is the most loving path to take.