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 Posted: 2014-09-04 05:39 am
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KerriiB

 

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After snooping thru my boyfriend's phone (SUE ME) I found social networks (tagged...badoo) that he had secret accounts set up where he would message transgender males looking to meet up for sexual things. we've been together since may. I found out about this in june. I confroned him about it and he actually admitted it the first time. Came clean to being attracted to "guys that are female"..my ONLY problem with this is that he does it behind my back. He is in what I thought to be a commited relationship with me, but has met with guys for oral sex. It disgusts me to know that he has and probably will always, cheat on me. Idk how to handle the stress of the situation because I cant broadcast his personal business and vent to anyone but him... :? It makes me feel inadequate and almost self conscious. But I cant help but to put myself in his shoes.

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 Posted: 2014-09-04 03:32 pm
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marshmallow

 

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You have to decide whether this is something you can not only live with, but be happy with. It is not going to change for him. Have an open discussion and make the decision, no matter how hard it is, that you need to make. If you truly feel like you can be happy in the situation, then make sure he knows it and believes you - then he will stop hiding.

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 Posted: 2014-09-04 04:01 pm
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KerriiB

 

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marshmallow wrote:
You have to decide whether this is something you can not only live with, but be happy with. It is not going to change for him. Have an open discussion and make the decision, no matter how hard it is, that you need to make. If you truly feel like you can be happy in the situation, then make sure he knows it and believes you - then he will stop hiding.


He's told me that he wants to stop. Stop beong attacted to males. I told him thats not how it works. He's hiding on the DL for his own reasons. Thats what makes it hard for me to believe in a relationship with him. I fully accept him but he isnt ready to accept his self

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 Posted: 2014-09-05 11:09 pm
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Admin



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It is understandable that he is feeling that way right now.  We all go through a process of accepting ourselves.  I do not know his particular situation, obviously, but I doubt he can change it.  Try to patient though if you really want to be in the relationship because he does need to go through his own process of acceptance.  Just keep talking.  And, of course, there is the safe sex issue so you want to be comfortable with what he is doing and who he is doing it with.

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