View single post by love_freely
 Posted: 2012-07-31 10:36 pm
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Joined: 2012-07-31
Posts: 3
Hello all, I'm new to the community here. I came here because there doesn't seem to be anyone in my life I can really talk to about this issue, so I am reaching out to you! I have been outwardly bisexual for three years now. I've always had a very strong attraction to both sexes, but an even stronger emotional connection to women. However, I have only barely dated two women, and neither of the relationships were 'public'. I have a 5 year old from a relationship that I am no longer in, I was married to a man, and now am actually in a (semi) serious relationship with a man. The problem is, is that ever since I first kissed a woman, I always find myself wanting to be in a relationship with a female. At first, I kept brushing it to the side, thinking I was somehow trying to convince myself that that's what I wanted. I am still attracted to men, but I daydream, I literally dream, about women. Not all sexually, I think about how it would be to love a woman, and to share a life with a woman. I even have more crushes on women than on men. But for some reason, I never allow myself the experience. I do care about the man that I am with, but a part of me thinks that maybe I am actually gay. I don't know?! I watched Ellen D.'s coming out interview a while back and she talked about how she had relationships with men, and they weren't bad, she even enjoyed sex from them. But it wasn't about that. It was about the connection she made with women, and the way they made her feel. Ever since I saw that, I can't get it out of my head. The notion that maybe I can have feelings and attractions to men, and it's completely normal, even if I think I want to spend my life with a woman. All of this is very confusing, because I don't know the 'rules' or the way to go about things. Anyone else ever been here? Anyone have any advice? Please and thank you!!

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