|View single post by archubbycub|
|Posted: 2012-07-13 02:17 pm||
Just a fun loving cuddly chub
|Ok, first I wasn't sure where to post this so I stuck it here. If it needs to be moved please feel free to do so.
Second, quick run down on my situation, for those who may not have read my previous threads. I'm 35, in a straight marriage with two kids, and I just recently came out, both to myself (though I've actually known it since I was 14) and to my immediate family (though they deny it). And the last few weeks have not been easy, for more than one reason.
Now for the reason for this thread. I mentioned in a previous thread that I am currently performing in the summer musical at our local art center and there is a guy (a much younger guy, nothing pedo) who I have a huge crush on. I started off as an innocent friendship, but certain things have happened since then that have led me to believe he is looking for more than just a friendship.
He started out by giving me a neck and back rub in between scenes, which in and of itself is innocent, but I found it a little "strange" that I was the only guy he was doing this for. Plus every time he have me one he would go a little lower on my back, stopping just above my butt.
Then he started "joking" about he and I being more than just friends and even rubbing up against me and hanging off of me rather seductively in front of everyone. And as the rehearsals and now performances have progressed, he has "upped his game" more and more.
He has full on grabbed my butt in the open and last night he rubbed on my chest getting lower and lower and stopping only an inch away from my crotch. Then, during intermission he "offered" to give me a bj twice and not in a quite way, although I still think a lot of people, if not everyone, thinks he's just kidding around. After all, the show we are doing is racey and there is a lot of innocent (and some not so innocent) flirting going on between most everyone backstage. But still due to the situation I'm in at home, I didn't take him up on the offers.
Now, here's the situation I find myself in. I can't get my wife to let me out of the marriage (she and everyone else thinks they can "cure" me) and I really don't want to hurt the kids, but on the other hand, I'd like to take this friendship with this guy to another level. I'm so torn and confused.
And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm suppose to be
In a land of make believe
That don' believe in me
"Jesus of Suburbia" --Green Day