View single post by archubbycub
 Posted: 2012-06-23 03:40 pm
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archubbycub
Just a fun loving cuddly chub
 

Joined: 2012-06-15
Location: Arkansas USA
Posts: 45
Status: 
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This is fucking nuts!! She thinks things are getting better but honestly they aren't. First, I spoke to our pastor, mainly to get her off my back. He was very understanding, and even told me I'd done the right thing by coming forward, but I know he thinks this can be resolved and our marriage can be saved. But the only way I see that happening is for me to repress my feelings an desires again and go on lying to her while I'm thinking about another man! Second, and this was probably my biggest mistake, we fooled around last night, and the whole time she kept asking me things like, "What are you thinkin about? Are you thinking abou me?" I didn't have the heart to tell her I was thinking about a guy from work. I know I shouldn't have put myself in that situation, should have told her I wasn't ready or something, but I was so damn horny from being aroun that guy all day it was driving me nuts! But now I feel cheap and dirty for lying to her and using her like that! She's even asked me a couple of times now if I feel guilty or if it grossed me out or anything and each time I've lied and said no I'm fine just so it doesn't hurt her feelings! I feel like a prisoner in my own fucking home!



____________________
And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm suppose to be
In a land of make believe
That don' believe in me

"Jesus of Suburbia" --Green Day
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