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|I think the longer you wait the worse it will be. You will know what is the right thing to do if you pay attention to your gut and what it is saying to you. If you know without a doubt that you are done, then it seems like you are prolonging the inevitable and you will both go through a terrible year - not to mention what it would do to the kids.
Stay strong and do what is in your heart. Treat her with kindness - but do what is right for you - and in the end, for her.