View single post by marshmallow
 Posted: 2012-06-20 05:26 pm
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Joined: 2011-05-25
Posts: 217
I think you need to take control of the situation a little bit.  You do want to be understanding - but you have to make sure she understands that she needs to get beyond her anger a little bit in order to protect the kids.  She should not be blaming the kids because noone will know unless she starts spreading the word in anger.  She shouldn't have forced you to tell them and your parents until the time was appropriate - that was her mistake - not yours. 

I would talk to your parents and tell them this is a journey you have to take on your own terms and ask them to please keep it quiet - for the sake of the kids.  You also need to get this across to your wife. 

It is up to you when you come out.

Also, unless you really want to talk to your priest - do not do it!  Do not be forced into a situation where she is trying to change you.  You are who you are and there is nothing wrong with you!  She will, of course, be able to live a full and happy life. 

So, if possible, try to walk the line between supporting what she is going through - but also protecting yourself and your children.  Don't let her control this.

Remember - you do not need to be changed and you are just fine the way you are.  Her anger is because she is scared and does not want to loose you and be alone and you can acknowledge that to her - yet stay proud and firm in what you know about yourself to be true.  You were born gay (or bi) and there is nothing at all wrong with you. 

You did the right thing by being honest and she will eventually understand that.  In the meantime, she needs to protect the kids and watch what she does because of anger.

Keep posting!

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