|I realize this site isn't very active but I still need a place to vent about what's on my mind and I have no where else to do it right now.
I'm a lesbian, I'm 18, I live in Cali, I have a girlfriend. I'm happy, for the most part, and everything is great. I have a friend I met through a forum for Neopets (Yes, I'm a huge nerdy dork) and he is 22, lives in Missouri and is a straight man. He was my first friend on that forum and we started talking when he offered for me to vent to him about my problems, which I did. That was back in December. We exchanged numbers and facebooks and started texting. Then he expressed feelings for me even though I told him that my problem at the time was that I couldn't decide between two women I wanted to be with. I clearly remember telling him that 1. I like women, 2. I don't do long distance, and 3. He's a sweet guy and maybe if things were very very different I'd give him a chance maybe. But of course in his mind he doesn't recognize any of that, all he remembers is me saying I'd give him a chance. And boy did he hold onto that. He continues to bring it up even though he has a girlfriend now, who is also on the same forum. A few nights ago I got so fed up and I told him via Facebook Chat exactly what I was thinking. I reminded him that I have a girlfriend who I'm very in love with. I reminded him I'm gay as can be and that I want to be with my girlfriend, and if that doesn't work out then another girl and another until I find the one. He kept telling me that he "knows deep down" that it's fate and we'll end up together and be happy together because he is convinced he can make me happier than anyone else has. I then reminded him again that I am gay and that I plan on marrying a woman and adopting children and I can't imagine any other future than that. He said that may be my future but I could have another future also. I said, "No. I'm gay. I like women. I don't want any other future." He then accused me of judging him not on his character but on his gender and I say it doesn't matter what his personality is, I am gay and I'm only attracted to women. He continues to say how I'm judging him for being a man and that I just hate men and I'm not judging him fairly and I say, "No. I know who you are. You are my straight male friend that I care about but that is as far as it goes and that's as far as it will ever go." He continues saying that he knows it's our fate and I'm just basically face/palming at this point. I say, "No, no, no. I'm gay. Okay? I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay. I like girls and boobs and vaginas." At this point I could tell that not only was he still not getting it, he was also getting frustrated so he left the conversation. Then today he texts me while I'm in a class and it says, "You were my first thought when I woke up." My first reaction to this was, "I wonder if his girlfriend is aware that he is infatuated with a lesbian." But instead I responded with, "Oh sorry." He said, "Why? It was wonderful." So then all I said was, "Oh." And he replied, "Yeah It was so good." Which creeped me out so I stopped responding. At first all this was flattering. But now it's creepy and annoying and my girlfriend has started to get annoyed with it as well. I don't know what else to do to get him to back off. I don't really want to lose him as a friend but I just wish he'd get it, I'm a lesbian and I'll never be with him, and calm down. And if he asks me one more time to move in with him in Missouri, I might pull all my hair out. For now, whenever he brings it up I just try to remind him of his girlfriend. Doesn't seem to be working. Ugh.
If anyone actually read this, thanks for taking the time lol.
Last edited on 2012-05-14 07:09 pm by EveMazing