|View single post by marshmallow|
|Posted: 2012-01-10 01:57 am||
|Emotional pressure can cause alot of problems. This is why it is so important for you to try to come to an understanding that these problems of feeling different will all change once you get out of high school (and become old enough where you are able to move to a more liberal community). Once you truly believe that it will get better you should feel the pressure decrease a little.
You might also try - a little bit at a time - being yourself a little. Start with something small - wear the shoes you like rather than what everyone else is wearing. This may relieve some of the pressure. Sometimes it just takes friends a little while to get use to their friends being a little different than them.
Most of all it is so important for you to teach yourself how to relax was this and know that it will get better. You will be able to establish friendships at some point with people who are more like yourself. Maybe try to find qualities you like of the people around you right now and let that be good enough.
I would normally say to just come out and be proud (like I did earlier) but I've since researched your area and I see that it may be better to take it slow.
You must create peace inside of yourself by knowing that there will be relief and for now it would help to make due with who you know. But, still search for others who may seem more like you. Look for the signs - they may also seem a little depressed and tired of the fake smiles. Try to bond with them.
You probably have already surfed the net and found what I found below, but in case, here ya go ....
http://www.egal.org.mk/default.aspx?pArtID=6 found this site through the macedonia lgbt facebook site. can't read it so I'm not sure what it is about.
http://okno.mk/node/11596 - I was looking around the internet and came across a Walk With Pride Project which photographs some underground gay pride movements. This link is a demonstration that happened in Macedonia. I could not read the page but maybe it will be interesting to you and you can find some like minded people through the article.
http://walkwithpridenow.com/ - walk with pride project
I've also emailed the Human Rights Campaign here in the US and have asked them if they know of any underground support groups that you can get involved with.
Remember IT WILL GET BETTER! Take a deep breath, give yourself a hug and relax with this a little. Once the pressure starts to diminish it should be easier to focus on school work. If it is still hard maybe you should ask for a tutor to help you.
Keep posting !