|View single post by marshmallow|
|Posted: 2012-01-09 05:43 pm||
|I'm sorry to hear your parents are not being more supportive - they apparently have not yet evolved into an understanding that being gay is a matter of dna that a person is born with. On the flip side - I'm glad you've made a friend on line. That is so important - nuture that friendship as much as you can. You are on a good path looking at line for more and more support.
Please just remember that everything in life is temporary - including your present situation. If it is at all possible I think that you should try to put all your focus on your grades and studying and try not to focus on the pressure to fit in at school right now. Achieving high grades right now will really affect your future in the most positive way. I realize I sound like your parents right now, but this is so important - not only for your future but for taking your power back from bullies/unaccepting friends. Do not let bullies/unaccepting friends have that much control over you that they affect your grades and your path toward success in your future.
You must take your power back from the bullies/unaccepting friends. Even if it is just reasoning in your mind that you know who you are, that you love yourself and you will be able to express it soon. Excel above all of them in your grades - totally focus on preparing yourself for success in the future. Look at it like a game of chess. In chess, one doesn't just make the best move - they plan ahead five or six moves to eventually win the game. You can look at them and know that some day - you will have won the game because you will excel in a career due to your grades - and - you will be able to live your life as you see fit - have a meaningful relationship with another woman and even have children together and a very happy family life.
Believe me - it changes when you get older and you have the freedom to move to where the lgbt community is accepted. Time passes and so will your situation.
I do not want to suggest to you to come out if you feel you may be physically injured - or that the teasing and ridicule would be too much to handle.
Please just keep in mind that your life will not always be this way. It gets better. Have self confidence in yourself and who you are. Even if, right now, you do not come out and you choose to "play the game" of acceptance, you can have a feeling of power inside of yourself knowing that you are "playing" the bullies/unaccepting friends and that eventually you will have gotten through school with great grades, on a positive path toward success in the future and, eventually, you will be able to come out, live life as you see fit and be accepted.
As life goes on you will see this is a valuable tool in life generally. Sometimes you have to fake someone out while at the same time you realize that you are "playing" them to achieve an end goal that benefits you.
Hopefully this makes sense - please, please, please understand that it will get better! If you havent' already, please watch the videos in the support section. There is a post that has maybe fifty videos from celebrities and other people who have lived through what you are living through right now and have been very successful in life.