View single post by marshmallow
 Posted: 2011-10-25 11:52 pm
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Joined: 2011-05-25
Posts: 217
Geeraf - welcome to the forum.  I'm glad you came and shared how you are feeling. 

First off, let me say, that there is nothing wrong with you.  Being gay, bi or straight is determined by DNA and it is not a choice.  You may already know this, but, if not - please remember that you are just fine and it is the people around you who have the character flaws and are somewhat ignorant.  They are being led by their noses by their religious beliefs, which is their right, but you do not have to be subject to it or live by it, this is a free world with a whole lot of options out there for you.  Spirituality doesn't have to be about organized religion.

Also, please remember, that they are on their paths of acceptance.  They may need to take time to come to an understanding.  It doesn't mean they don't love you necessarily.  But, while they are on your path, you have to be on yours as well.  You and your child need to live in a healthy, accepting environment - and you can find that in the lgbt community.

I hate to say it, but I think you should probably find a way to complete your schooling elsewhere.  Associates credits can typically be transferred - and there is no better time than the present.  Sounds like you live in a very close-minded place and you need to get your child and yourself  to a location that will not discriminate against you or your child.  What your family should be upset about is your husband who is abusive - they have it all backwards.

Can you come up with a plan to move to a more accepting location to continue your schooling?  It would be a much healthier way to live for you and your child and I think you would get better grades and be able to focus more completely on your education. 

I think what your family has been saying about texas courts treating you a certain way because you are gay could have a ring of truth - but - courts also understand that children need their mothers.  And, if you have proof of your husband's abuse you stand a pretty good chance - but check with the appropriate lawyer first (see below)

Some suggestions for a plan would be to: 

1 - find a lawyer that you can consult regarding your rights with your child.  Find one that is lgbt friendly.  You can try: (the Dallas Gay and Lesbian bar association - they have a find a "lawyer" section), or you can try contacting the Human Rights Campaign in Dallas:

2 - search out lgbt friendly locations and their schooling, etc..  If you find out from the lawyer that you will need to stay in Texas, I believe Austin is a really cool town in Texas.  Check that out on line.

3 - save the money and get the hell out of there.

4 - There have to be Dallas lgbt support groups where you can get support - maybe find a roommate.  You need to replace the support you've lost with your family with support from your new lgbt family.  We are a close group who help each other.  There will be all types of support groups - youth, etc.,.  All you have to do is google "Dallas lgbt support group".

Believe me - you are not alone.  Many in the lgbt community have faced this situation and have come out on the other end happy.  Start with support groups and a lawyer.  Get out of there.

Please keep posting and let us know how it goes.  If you look around the site you will see others who have struggled and have conquered and found a new lgbt family.  There are support groups for lesbians with children and everything.  You will be amazed at how much is out there for you.  Do not delay - start taking control of your destiny today!

You may think about posting in the parent section too.  It is pretty empty but you never know who might be browsing

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