|View single post by verra-236|
|Posted: 2016-01-06 01:55 am||
|Being Transgender, is a disorder?
*Im sorry this is a little long, but it's very important that some people read this and can possibly help me.*
My parents seem to believe that I have a "disorder", or a "condition" of some type after I came out as transgender. They say its' caused my hormone imbalance, and they seek to "cure" me - instead of supporting me to transition.
I recently came out to my friends and family that I am a male-to female trans.... and My parents seem to believe that this is not normal and that I have some kind of disorder.Granted I've heard of "gender identity disorder" but they seem to believe its something else.
I told them I could no longer bear living as a male, and that for much of life I knew I was the wrong biological gender. All of my friends told me they "knew this was coming" before I did. (As in, Before I came to this realization, and was able to accept it for myself- they said that they had known years prior) haha a little weird, but I guess that's "confirmation" if it wasn't a surprise to the people I know.
When I told my parents that I felt like I was "supposed to be female" I reminded them of what happened to me during puberty:
(Apparently I already had higher-than-normal estrogen levels),
During the onset of puberty around 12yo, I started to develop breasts. When we went to the pediatrician, he said that the "cysts-like" Lumps under each nipple was an early stage of breast development. (Lol, not trying to be too graphic here, its just what happened to me.)
Over the next couple of years, they eventually shrank and disapreard altogether. But I still have a very curvy-figure, a feminine voice and over-all female appearance.
Now, they point to this even during puberty as the sole reason for why I don't feel like a male now..
Despite all the other physical and psychological things, they point to only one thing *hormone level imbalance* as the "REASON" why I want to make the transition from male to female.They think my estrogen level is either too high, or my testosterone level is too low.
That's the problem. They are looking for "answers" as to why I came out.
They think it's a "problem that can be solved" and moved passed.
To them, being transgender is meaningless, they just think I have a temporary, "curable condition".
- - - - Even though I think the hormone imbalance may be true, I also think there's a reason for why my brain did this. (Insert : Female brain in wrong body analogy) lol, which is perhaps why I actually developed such feminine physical traits. But long before puberty- as early as 5yo, I can recall imagining myself as female, almost everyday, and in my dreams every night.
But this is irrelevant to my family. They think I can be "Cured" and want me to take testosterone to rid myself of this mindset.
They're exact words were "why don't you try taking testosterone for a while first, and see how you feel. It may end your desires to become a girl."
WTF??? There's NO way on Earth I would ever take testosterone....
Its' not going to "fix me" in any-way.
What parent would even suggest such a thing? (Its' pretty sick, right?)
My parents don't care though, and they just laugh in my face when I suggest estrogen instead. Repeating: "your a guy! you need testosterone!"
Honestly, I am very unhappy living as a male.
And I can not see how becoming "more manly" is not going to do anything except cause depression.
Hormones are powerful body-altering endocrinological chemicals.
If taking testosterone would cause me to loose the feminine characteristics I already posses, I would be completely devastated.
*** I have a few important questions; and I'm hoping some people on here could help me with this.
1) HOW in the world can I convince my parents that taking testosterone will only cause physical and emotional harm to me?!?
1a) **just wondering.... Has anyone here ever heard of something like this?
As in, Parents trying to push hormones like this, to "fix" being transgender?? It's sheer craziness!!
2) What else do they need to know/ understand about what transgender actually means? (They don't listen to me at all. And if they do, "pretend" to listen to me, they only revert back to saying "you have a hormone condition, and that's why you feel this way. Your not a girl, we raised you as a guy. So just stop this nonsense already!"
That's all I ever hear if I bring the topic up.
*** Idk what else to do or say that will get them to understand this.
About Transitioning with/without Parental Help
**Yes, I know that I'm "technically an adult", but I still live at home because I go to a local college down the road.
And, I also know that some people just "pursue their transition themselves."
But it would be so much better if I was able to get my own parents to accept me, and possibly even assist with transitioning. It's a very difficult process, and not having their support is difficult, and very saddening.
** They are pushing for me to not transition, and to stay a physiological male. To them, doing that is how they are "Helping me", even if it requires me taking male hormones.
** But I can't do that....continuing to live this way is just killing me.
And Not having support from my own family, makes it much worse.
- Verra <3
~ ~ ~ Verra <3