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I'm a gay guy and I have been suck since I was 8. I was always attracted to males and had no interest in women. I never wanted to be a girl/woman myself. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that female gender is inferior or something but I love being a guy. I am a man, and I like being with man.
All my life I was out of sports, more interested in Broadway shows, more understanding female psychology than male. Though with years I start to understand men as well because I enter into relationship with them.
I can't imagine my life if I were a girl. From my childhood I was always happy with my gender, loved being a boy. If I were born as a female there is a very high possibility that I would have wanted to change my gender. So I do understand those who want to change their gender.
BTW gender identity disorder is decided by a psychiatrist prior doing any sex changes.
And if we speak about stereotypes than we should say that orientation and gender identification are absolutely different things. Orientation is about who you want to be with, whereas gender identification is all about who you want to be yourself. Being feminine doesn't mean being gay, trasvestile or transgender. Those are different things. Your boy (he is only 4 and you have no idea what can happen) may be feminine (if it's the case), but be straight or gay. May have interest in wearing female cloths (transvestite) regardless of his orientation. And there is a possibility of being transgender (regardless of orientation and clothing choice).
Overall I think you have to understand that transgender is not about the love towards somebody. It's all about how do we want to see us to be able to accept ourselves and love ourselves.
And I think you are looking into matters too early. He's only 4. He has no idea who he wants to be, who he want to be with or anything. And I think he has made his statement already: that he is a boy!
And I want to thank you for being such a great parent. I wish more people could be understanding and looking for answers where they don't know the answers. Wish you all the luck with parenting.
Thanks for the reply, mate!
I should mention that I am not actually worried about this issue as a parent. I just brought up my son in the original post because, to me, the most important thing is to recognize that when we talk and LGBT rights and lifestyles, we're talking about REAL people. It's helpful, and even vital, that the conversation begin with this acknowledgement. For me, one of the best ways to do that is to remember what kind of parent I'd want to me to my son. (I hope that makes sense.)
I'm glad you brought up that gender identity disorder is determined prior to any sex changes. I suppose that helps me clarify my question a bit. You see, I don't think any intelligent person would ever identify being gay as a disorder. Sexual orientation is just a difference between people, not a disorder.
On the other hand, gender identity disorder IS apparently defined as such.
So while I ABHOR conversion "therapy" for gay people, it seems like something that is a disorder (like gender identity disorder) would be something we would want to find a way to treat. It strikes me that if we change the way we identify a person (by doing anything from changing the pronouns we use to doing a sex change), then we are indulging a disorder.
But again, I think I'm wrong here. That's why I am posting on this forum. After all, given the choice that either I'm right or thousands of Trans people are right, I think the odds aren't in my favor. There is something Trans folks know that I don't see or understand yet.
I'm really, really grateful that you all are letting me ask these questions, and that you understand that I am not trying to attack anyone's identity or rights.
Thanks again for your response!