View single post by DaveDodson
 Posted: 2015-03-06 06:55 pm
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Joined: 2015-03-06
Posts: 3
Good day, everyone!

I wanted to seek out a forum to ask the Trans community about their perspective. A quick Google search of "LGBT forum" led me here. This is going to be a lengthy post, but I wholeheartedly appreciate those who will be taking the time to read and comment back.

A quick caveat: I believe in full legal rights for the entire LGBT community, including Trans rights. The questions I want to raise are about my personal opinion, and I want to establish early on that I am fully aware that my personal opinions, whatever they are, do/should NOT affect your legal rights.

Ok, so on to my question (again, sorry for the length):

As the issue of Transgender people becomes more front-and-center, we hear more stories about children who have self-identified as another gender. (We also hear some great stories about supportive parents, which is wonderful.) I think about my own four-year-old son, and what would happen if he self-identified as a female later on. I know that I would be fully supportive if he decided he was gay or bi. I would struggle with a self-identification as Trans, though.

You see, to me, it seems that to self-identify as a different gender reinforces existing gender stereotypes. So if my son comes up to me in a few years and says, "Daddy, I think I'm a girl", then I am going to wonder what that means. From the very few Trans people I have talked to, it seems that that would mean "I feel like I'm a woman. I have more feminine traits than masculine." In other words, what my son would be saying would be "I am nurturing/I like dolls/I don't like sports" or one of many other gender-based stereotypes. (To my knowledge, Trans people don't just reject having specific genitalia for its own sake.)

So I struggle seeing Trans as a positive thing. It seems to me to be dangerously close to two unhealthy things: First, a rejection of one's own body. Second, a reinforcing of existing gender stereotypes that I believe should be dissolved.

Now onto why I am here. As much as I believe the above, I also don't believe that I am right and you are wrong. I'm not Trans, and I am trying not to be so arrogant as to believe that I have all the answers of what it's like. I'd like to be able to say I am an Ally 100%, but right now I am having difficulty (as you can tell) with the "T" in "LGBT". I would humbly ask that, if any of you feel comfortable, would you please correct my reasoning where you feel it is in error. Please know that I am asking this with the highest personal respect.

(To end this post on a humorous note: I don't anticipate hearing this from my son anytime soon. He informed his mother and I last night at dinner that, "I'm not a person! I'm a boy!" I almost choked on my food.)

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