View single post by ZhanePwns
 Posted: 2015-02-02 08:35 pm
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Joined: 2015-02-02
Location: Kentucky USA
Posts: 2
Hey everyone. I'm new to this forum. Actually, this is my first time foruming. But I'm utterly lost and confused. I came out as gay two years ago even though I always felt something towards females. In a sad attempt of heterosexuality, I dated a guy in high school and got pregnant. Now I have a three year old boy who is my world.

So, recently I began to feel like I'm unhappy with who I am. I know I'm lesbian. I love females. But sometimes I catch myself looking at a guy that's hot, wishing I looked more like them. So I've been thinking about taking testosterone. But the thoughts creep me out.

I am scared of losing my family. I'm scared that once I begin, it'll be something I won't desire. I wonder how I will afford it. I'm uninsured and work at Walmart -.- I wonder what will happen to my chest. I kinda like my breasts. I am scared my son will despise me in the future because it's a likely thing that he will be bullied because of me in the future. I'm scared that I won't find love. I'm highly shy and to myself as it is, which is why I've had little success in making friends and mates. And if I do make the change, i'd have to explain my male appearance but my female genitals. Yeah, I want to keep that area the same.

I've seen/read a lot online, but there are always people who make the whole transition. They have top and lower surgery (can't spell the medical word for crap -.-). I've watched the L Word with Max and his transition. I know he didn't get lower surgery, but I think he did top. It seems like I have all these questions but Google is actually failing me.

So I've turned here for advice. Any help is appreciated :)

Last edited on 2015-02-02 08:36 pm by ZhanePwns

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