|View single post by Aine|
|Posted: 2015-01-09 01:59 am||
A couple years ago, I met this girl. That's how it often starts isn't it? She was so amazing, I realized I had feelings for her pretty fast. At first it was subconscious, but then I had an "aha" moment where I was like, "Wait, I'm bi, I like girls too." About 6 months later, I met a girl who happened to be lesbian. I told her about the girl I liked and she suggested I might be lesbian also. I guess from the way I talked about her. Since then, I've made out with a girl and it was the most amazing kiss I've ever had. Way better than I ever felt with a guy.
I dated this one guy for about 9 months and it never felt like that to kiss him. Even when I really liked my best guy friend a couple years ago, I didn't get that buzz when I kissed him. I feel like I'll get really excited to kiss a guy and then it'll happen and it just feels like, "Oh, this is it?" It feels disappointing. Like how can I have butterflies and be excited about kissing someone, and it always be so bad? This is the response I feel each time I kiss a guy. It hasn't failed yet. I haven't had this ever with a girl. It's been great so far. Also, I don't ever feel like guys are physically attractive, but I will often think girls are beautiful or attractive.
Strangely, I do feel turned on by guys sometimes, but I don't really feel the same type of emotionally connection that I feel with women. This is confusing for me. How can I have sexual feelings for guys but not be physically attracted to them or feel emotionally connected? I don't know whether this means I'm bi or lesbian. Also, I am physically, emotionally, and sexually attracted to women.
Additionally, when I am with a girl, I feel very protective and more masculine. And it feels right and natural to me to feel that way. I always want to do things for her and make sure she's alright. I prefer to dress in guys clothes more often too, although I do occasionally feel like being girly.
I really just want some feedback from other people who have felt similar to me before and what they think may be going on?
Thank you for reading this and thanks for the help.
I appreciate it.
Last edited on 2015-01-09 02:01 am by Aine