View single post by Admin
 Posted: 2010-10-22 07:06 pm
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Joined: 2009-03-18
Posts: 349
I think the most important tool for you to come out is to be strong and self confident about who you are.  Your mom will probably have the same reaction as before so you have to be prepared.  Realize that you may need to give her time to accept the reality of having a gay child. 

When I came out to my parents they were very unhappy with the situation.  However, they were willing to work with me.  We made an agreement that I wouldn't come out to any of their friends or the rest of the family.  I lived in a different state by then so that was an OK compromise for me.  We set a few years as a date to renegotiate the situation.  This may not be a workable compromise for you so come up with one that works.  Currently, I am living locally to my family and out to everyone and my wife (we got married in Canada) is a part of the family and loved dearly.   

As I mentioned earlier, the most important thing is to be strong and confident in who and what you are.  Have a plan before coming out.  This plan could include:  1 - the compromise you are willing to make on a temporary basis as your mom gets more comfortable with the reality; 2 - where you will go if you are asked to leave the house and 3 - contact your local PFLAG and get some literature that she can read.  Offer to go to a meeting with her so she can meet other parents who have accepted their children and who can provide her with a positive outlook/perspective.  If she is unwilling - leave the pamphlets with her so that she can look at them when she is ready. 

You are a beautiful person who was born gay.  Remember this as you proceed forward and remember that you can not control how others respond to you - so stay centered and strong with your own identity and move forward with love toward yourself.  If you havent' already discovered a local lgbt family of friends, remember that there is a loving community of lgbt family/friends who will take you in with open arms.

Keep us posted!

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