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|Hi. Your post wasn't that long! You should see some of them
Is here any way you can find an lgbt support center in an area close to you? Outside of your immediate community, but close enough to get to? An lgbt support center would help you so much. Not only to establish friendships with like-minded people but also to help you better understand what is going on with you. Finding a center outside of your community will help you avoid the eventual bullshit your family would throw on you if they found out.
You can always ask specific questions here if you want too.