View single post by Cocolita
 Posted: 2013-08-08 04:55 am
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Cocolita

 

Joined: 2012-10-28
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Hi all. :) I posted here some time ago about a lesbian I was very much in love with. We've known each other for two years, and just "clicked" as friends the first time we met. She has always been phobic about relationships though, so after I fell for her, she sort of kept me at a distance while still trying to be close to me as a friend. This was the first time I'd ever fallen in love with a girl. I would describe her as a stud. Well when she finally decided to date me, I was so elated. I even changed my facebook status to "in a relationship" for the first time ever. But unfortunately she got cold feet and dumped me on fourth of july weekend. I was quite devastated. But she's made it clear that she doesn't want to be with me and wants to go on to other things.

It's been really tough because I never thought I'd fall for another woman at all. But she introduced me to a lot...I watched the L Word for the first time with her, she introduced me to other lesbians, we went to the LGBT center together once to get tested, basically just opened up a whole new aspect of life for me. She even gave me a disclaimer when we started dating, that there's certain challenges that come along with being in a same sex relationship. Especially since we both have friends from her home country where homosexuality is very much frowned upon. But I decided to accept those difficulties because I loved her, even accepting the fact that even if we could adopt or get a sperm donor, I'd never be able to have a biological child with her.

Not only do I get sad when I see anything that reminds me of her, I get sad when I see anything or anyone that reminds me of lesbian relationships. I heard "Same Love" on the radio today and got sad. I saw a lesbian couple at Wal Mart and I got sad. Two lesbians who I met through my ex are engaged and they always post cute messages to each other on Facebook. Like really heart-warming, sweet messages that let you know they're really in love. I am so happy for them, but it kills me a little at the same time...

A part of me wants to try being in another lesbian relationship and another part of me can't stand the thought. I don't have many gay friends so I just thought I would share my experience here. I know there is life after heartbreak but I've never been this heartbroken before in my life.

Last edited on 2013-08-08 05:00 am by Cocolita

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