View single post by TCSmiley
 Posted: 2013-03-01 06:36 am
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TCSmiley

 

Joined: 2013-03-01
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I know this is probably asked all of the time on these sites but it is a very difficult thing to answer by yourself and I don't have anyone that I can really talk about it. I'm 19 and lately I have been considering the fact that I could be gay. It started randomly at work, I was doing a deli shift so I was stuck with the dishes. Out of nowhere I began to have a sexual fantasy about another man. This brought on a raging boner and a shit ton of questions instantaneously. I have been toying with this idea so I thought I would try and watch some gay porn and see where that went. Lets just say that took me to the bathroom. Now I am even more confused going 19 years thinking that I was completely straight. Yesterday I started thinking about past behavior and that brought more questions. When I was still in high school I did get bullied but because of the fact that I was a guy and I hated sports. I also, at all times avoided the conversations that my guy friends had about girls. I would either ignore them or leave the room just to get out of it. If I was unable to get out of it I would just say sure to every question until they would get mad and punch me. I have had girlfriends but one was when I was in 7th grade and that didn't go anywhere and the other was my best friend later on in 10th grade. Since she was my best friend I was already close but nothing really changed for me other than the fact that we went to dinner a few times. Now I have never had sex with either a guy or girl and I am confused as hell. I try imagining myself in sexual situations with both genders but I find the thought of rubbing up against another guy very satisfying. WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO DAMN DIFFICULT?! I have been losing a lot of sleep to this and it is started to effect my work... Please help

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