View single post by marshmallow
 Posted: 2013-01-30 05:26 pm
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marshmallow

 

Joined: 2011-05-25
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Hi and thanks for sharing whats going on with you.  To answer your questions - No, you are not wrong for any of your feelings toward your father.  An alcoholic parent is one of the hardest situations to deal with because they are unavailable, angry, manipulators, liers and typically act like children. 

You have a right to be angry.  You have a right to still luv him.  You have a right to feel like you need to take care of him and keep him from dieing from alcohol. 

My suggestion would be to stay away.  Train him how to treat you by only speaking to him when he approaches you and is acting friendly and like a reasonable adult.  If he approaches you as an angry, drunk child then tell him "I will not talk to you when you treat me like this - call back sober". 

It is important to understand that an alcoholic can not be forced to be sober and you will only drive yourself crazy trying to take on that task.  I've known a few alcoholics and the only way any of them have ever gotten sober is when an intervention has occurred and they choose of their own will (in the process of the intervention) to go into rehabilitation.  There is much literature out there that you can read for families of alcoholics and how their drinking effects you and the best way to handle it.  Interventions will be explained as well.

Best solution - stay away from his mess.  He probably doesn't even remember what he called your mom.  If can, perhaps, write him a letter expressing your feelings but don't call.  The letter will be a safe release of your feelings.  But, remember, you can't control how he will react.  Your goal is to free yourself of your feelings and just accept how he responds.  Just don't let him treat you in any way other than a kind and adult manner.

Anyway, thats my two cents.  Don't take his shit on - live your life and be happily gay!  Hope this helped somewhat.  :)

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