View single post by CurtisE
 Posted: 2012-12-19 10:11 pm
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CurtisE

 

Joined: 2012-12-19
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So I need some help and this is the only place I can think of to ask for it... Let me preface this with I'm a transgender guy (M2F) living with my disorder without surgery etc. and although I am also straight I am the biggest supporter of gay rights you will ever find. I'm dating a bi girl now... I trust her with my life and she has sworn that she is 100% faithful to me. She says that she would never actually date a girl anyways. As selfish, maybe... shallow... I'm not even sure how to label it, as it might be, Part of me doesn't feel comfortable with this. Not that I have any issue with her being bi, if she was a lesbian and said she wanted to date me for some crazy reason I would still love her the same. I think it's more the fear of her leaving me for a girl. Although this might seem odd because I'm not scared of her leaving me for a guy, but finally I think though writing this funnily enough I think I found the reason for me being so scared. It's because of me being transgender and feeling like I would feel more comfortable as a female the idea of her leaving me for a girl is more prevalent because I would feel like I wasn't good enough and my transgender issues would take a bigger hit... When they already hurt me so badly on a day to day basis anyways... So can anyone just offer some words of advice/wisdom anything to help this pain go away because I feel like I'm dying on the inside. Thanks to everyone, even if you have nothing to say, just for reading it and maybe considering it for a moment. Love ♥

EDIT: So as I sit here and think about it more... I think part of it is also being jealous... because I know if I ever was able to have the oportunity to change my physical gender that's how I would be, bi. And I know that it's not good to be jealous of her for the sake of our relationship... I just need a new state of mind I think. I feel like I'm over-examining too much and it's driving me crazy.

Last edited on 2012-12-19 10:41 pm by CurtisE

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