View single post by mehhh1989
 Posted: 2012-12-17 05:14 am
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mehhh1989

 

Joined: 2012-12-16
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As a gay guy I went through this as well. When I was quite a bit younger I would tell myself that I was straight and I just wanted to know what it was like to be with a guy. As I got older I started telling myself that I was bisexual. Ultimately, after I graduated high school I finally forced myself to say that I was gay, out loud. It felt kind of strange at first, but what I realized is that every time I got nervous about the fact that I was gay, was because I was afraid of what everyone else would think. I realized that every time I imagined myself with a girl, it wasn't because I actually wanted to spend my life with a female, but instead it was because I felt like that was what my parents and family would like. Maybe you really do accept yourself as lesbian, perhaps your only hesitation at this point is feeling like you can't have the same future as you would with a guy. It's interesting because my cousin got married recently and I am next in line to get married in my family, and I swear every few minutes I had someone coming up to me telling me that I was next. When I was at her wedding reception, her dad was making a toast, I had a moment where I felt like a wedding was something I would truly never have (regardless of any law). I realized later that while I find marriage and marriage equality to be extremely important, I also know that if I just allow myself to be happy, then maybe I actually stand a chance at being genuinely happy even if a "traditional wedding" isn't in my future. I hope that you will be able to completely embrace that part of you that says "hey ladies, I think you are quite amazing" if that is ultimately what you find to be truest to you.

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