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|Hi and welcome. Sorry it's taken me so long to reply but I've been out of the country!
From reading through your story, it is my humble opinion that you are not exploring, and enjoying, gay sex because of your difficulties with dating women. Rather, it seems to me, that you were having difficulties dating women becuase of your natural attraction to men. The sense of belonging and excitement whenever you grow closer to the gay community says it all to me.
Relax, have fun, and do not worry about your label.