23, gay, sane.........and stillllllll a virgin.
I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately, and with my 24th birthday coming up in a few months, I can't help but cringe at the thought of turning another year older without ever having been in any type of relationship.
I honestly could care less about the sex, I guess for me I mostly just want to know what it is like to be close to someone.
Is it weird that I am actually extremely embarrassed that I haven't had sex before? Because honestly I would rather be a big fat slut than to continue to be a virgin.
I think what has gotten me down the most is seeing people around me, my age, starting to get married and have kids, and here I am, by myself.
By the way, I am totally not a virgin by choice. It takes two, and I can't even seem to give it away.
Like I said above, it's not the sex, it's everything else that is connected with sex that I would like to experience...such as a relationship.
I don't really have anyone to talk to about this seeing as I don't really have any friends, and I really don't feel like this would be an appropriate conversation to have with either of my parents.
I suppose this mostly has been caused by my extreme lack of self-esteem, but at the same time, I can't recall a single moment where someone flirted with me.
I'm not horrible looking, I smell nice, and I am kind to those around me, I have a degree, I'm neither loud or obnoxious, and I drive safely.
So I'm left wondering where I went wrong?
Any advice? just feeling kind of blahh...for like the last 5 years or so. Please forgive any spelling mistakes, it's 4am (can't sleep).
Hello and welcome. What strikes me from reading your post is that you are wanting to start a realtionship without really getting out there and making friends. The best relationships happen naturally which means starting out as friends. Then there is the flip side - sometimes it is just as important to get out there and explore your body (and someone elses) and experience casual SAFE sex.
Where are you going to meet people?
If you are feeling too shy to get out to the bars and meet people, perhaps an ad in a gay publication. That is what I did at one point in San Francisco. But, if you are living in a close minded area of the country, meeting people cold from an ad is dangerous so you would want to communicate alot over the phone or in a public area for quite a few dates first.