I had a little incident today which has scared the beejesus out of me and I'm hoping for a few kind words of advice.
A little about me: I'm British, bisexual and have crossdressed in private since I was 10. I've always had problems doing anything publicly, including coming out about either being bi or crossdressing, because I have a particularly homophobic father (so please excuse me not using any of my real details). I have been trying to build my confidence by going out "dressed up" late at night to a local park etc.
I am currently working in the hospitality industry and living with a female co-worker and her boyfriend in staff accommodation. The couple went out earlier today and I decided to mess about by wearing my bikini into the partly-shielded garden for a "mock" sunbathe. Just after I had stepped outside and laid down, I noticed their car coming back into the driveway and I think I may have been spotted. Worst still, from some of the conversations I've heard between the couple today (if I've heard them correctly) I think that my co-worker believes I was wearing her bikini set!
This only happened a few hours ago and I've avoided them since then as much as possible. The ambiguous phrase of "What should I do!?" comes to mind, especially as working with her will prove very difficult for me mentally if she has found my little secret out, and I am tearing myself up to know if they did see me or not, but asking them is out of the question for obvious reasons.
It's hard, very hard, but at some point you have to make the transition and from the sound of it you are testing yourself to see how well you handle it (also stated by yourself). It just seems like you have bounced into an accelerated mode. The best thing you can do is get comfortable with yourself first and ignore the rest of the world. If this is what makes you happy why should you feel ashamed or embarrassed that others think about you. You need to be able to ignore the "normal" world as that term has been misused all to often, as there is no real "normal" only the typical and if you don't fit the typical then so what! Those others who pass judgment on you don't pay your bills or support you so why is their opinion any more valid than your own? If you're still nervous you can always lie (say you just curious, wanted to see what it felt like, etc.) but it's only going to make you more and more nervous and paranoid as time goes on. The best bet is to try being open with them as a first step. They seem to be roommates so I'm only speculating at this point but if you laid it out for them either half truth or full truth and gauged their reaction they (and you) would probably feel better knowing rather than having to guess behind your back. I can't guarantee they will have an accepting reaction but if that's how you decide to start opening up you need to be prepared for both but you can't keep bottling up who you are or bad things happen, and that's some place you don't want to visit. much luck to you I hope you can decide on a choice you are comfortable with.