Hey everyone, I'm just looking for some help with myself.
I've, for years now, been attracted to other men but I never had really accepted that and it was just an internal turmoil I've had.
Well about a year and a half ago I came out to my close friends and they were supportive and I even eventually came out to some co-workers. I moved back in with my family and really would not like them to figure out.
I just do not really know where I would fit in in the gay community. I know most people will just say 'be yourself', but from the handful of other gay men I have worked with and/or met I seems that some of the community is as divisive as people think.
I am an overweight guy (actively trying to change that, though) and I am hairy, have a beard, and am masculine...does classify me as a bear, chub, cub...or what?
One more question -- slightly off topic -- Where could I go to try to find a boyfriend? I have never really had the opportunity to before and I just wanna have a relationship, ya know.
Sounds like you are trying negotiate and figure out the gay community and that can be a challenge! Especially if you don't fit into the stereotypes. We all go through it in the beginning. So, if you are looking for a label - when you first described yourself I though "bear". That being said, you don't need to label yourself - and there is a huge part of the community that doesn't get involved in all that stereotypical labeling. The bar scene, of course, is the biggest offender. Perhaps try to get involved in other gay activities, such as a gay men's chorus, some sort of gay bowling league, I don't know - just throwing things out there. Not sure what options you have available to you. Perhaps get involved in an lgbt community center or support group. Perhaps get politically active.
Living with your parents (I assume that is what you mean by family) is not the best option for ever finding a meaningful relationship since you are in the closet to them.
Also, gay folks are everywhere - and it seems to me that gay men are less closeted than women, so get your gaydar going and find some men in your everyday life.