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Bullied At School.
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 Posted: 2013-02-21 03:47 am
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Issues



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Okay. So today I just LOST it in PE. This kid (no names mentioned, I'll just call him Shorty, because he's really short) decides to taunt me daily of being a freak because I'm pretty feminine. As in I have a feminine voice and features. Not my fault, it's just how I've always been. Anyways, he also taunts me for my gauges and my septum ring. But what really hits me hard is when he sexually harasses me. Every day when I'm getting dressed in the locker room, he decides to smack be in the rear and says "you probably like that, fag." and the whole locker room lights up with laughter. But today went a little too far. He brought up my homosexuality, even though I'm not 'out' and says that it's my "kind's" fault for the world being how it is. I imagine he means LGBT. He said we are the reason that there are so many catastrophes, and why AIDS is so far spread. Needless to say I bursted out in tears. Not only because he hurt my feelings, but because he yelled this at the top of his lungs for no reason.

Well. This was my rant I guess. Any comments?

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 Posted: 2013-02-21 11:00 pm
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Admin



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Geesh - that kid sounds like such a jerk.  I want to say that you should report him, but I know that sometimes reporting someone makes it worse.  And, I'm figuring that his attitude is coming directly from his parents so it won't help to have your parents tell his parents.

Maybe you just need to have a snappy comeback that will make everyone laugh at him instead.  Like "your the one slappin a guy's ass".  Do you think that would work with him or make him worse? 

Also, maybe you can get some friends who can be there with you.

Have you ever thought about taking a self defense course or learning some defense moves from someone? I am NOT referring to weapons.   Even if you went to a place that teaches karate or something similar and tell them you are being bullied (don't have to tell them the details) and ask if he/she would teach you a few moves that will help just in case it gets too physical.  Stay vague about who and where it is cause you don't want them to complicate things - just show you some moves.


I know it is hard to hear those kinds of comments, but try to be strong and not let him get a rise out of you because that is what he wants.  If you just act like he is a speck of dirt, with an even smaller brain, and even less significant words floating out of his mouth, then he will move on to someone else.  So, hold back the tears as best you can.  Wouldn't it feel better to be self-empowered and do a self defense move on him when he goes to touch you? 

Picture it - he slaps you and then makes his stupid comment.  Right when everyone in the locker room is looking, you do your self defense move and throw him to the ground.  While he is down there you say "you're the one slapping a guy's ass" and walk out.  BAMM - you won.

There are self defense classes out there that aren't as involved as karate - and I bet a police station would know who does them.  They are usually pretty cheap - and if you can't get the money, offer to do some chores for whoever is running the class. 

Last edited on 2013-02-21 11:16 pm by Admin

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 Posted: 2013-02-22 09:55 pm
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alfirin657



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The self-defense moves sound like a great idea, though it sounds like the guy you're up against would react aggressively and might start a fight right there. If not, others in the locker room might not stand for watching you show up one of their ignorant friends (however much he may deserve it) and cause a scene, or prevent you from leaving.

Having friends there is a good idea, though if that's not possible, give a blank stare. People nowadays- especially high schoolers or college students- are very skimpy with making eye contact. If I'm in my school's library and I sit near some guys making nasty comments about LGBT, stereotypes, etc.; that blank, wordless stare works really well. They get uncomfortable and try and laugh it off, but usually switch to another topic.


I can't honestly say I know how you feel about being bullied, though; I am too much of a coward to even hint to the public of being a homosexual. Stay brave! I wish you luck!



____________________

The one who holds on to anger is the one who gets burned- Buddha
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 Posted: 2013-02-23 04:42 am
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natalietalmadge

 

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Hi there,

I am a professor at a college--it is a different school environment than at your school. but dealing with bullying at college/middle school/high school can be a difficult and delicate issue all the same.

Ultimately, you want to eliminate the bullying without making yourself a target of violence. You want to both stop the aggression against you and diffuse the situation so you don't continue to be the target of a bully's ways.

You may already be aware of this, but the first thing to keep in mind is that, of course, there is nothing wrong with you. You have a right to be true to yourself without being harassed for it.

Secondly, realize that this bully is acting out of ignorance. He has not been taught about tolerance and respect towards people who may in some way be different than him. It is clearly a lesson he has not learned.

I know you say you haven't come out, but, without having to come out, there are ways that you can approach administrators as well as teachers, administrators, counselors at your school who have both your safety and comfort, as well as the educational mission of the school, very much in mind.

Don't fear being a "rat". See it as helping a bully learn that what he is doing is wrong and will not be tolerated in society at large. He needs that education.

You can approach school faculty and administrators and firmly explain that you do not feel safe at this school, that you fear for your safety, that you are not comfortable and that this is affecting your schoolwork. You want to seek allies who have more influencing power than you do in the education of other students, and school administrators and teachers certainly do. Make them your allies. They will know what course of action is best to take and they have more power than you do to take action.

Lastly, be aware of organizations like GLSEN (http://www.glsen.org/) which can help raise awareness in your school as well.

You are not alone in fighting discrimination and/or harassment because of sexual orientation (regardless of whether you have come out or not).

Whatever happens, don't be afraid of being true to yourself. Be courageous and know that even if you may feel cornered, there are many people who will stand by you and help you educate others around you about tolerance without having to resort to retaliatory harassment or violence.

Be strong.

Last edited on 2013-02-23 04:47 am by natalietalmadge

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 Posted: 2013-02-25 04:00 am
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Issues



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All of the answers were great, and I really appreciate them (: Thanks!

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 Posted: 2013-02-25 04:17 am
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Admin



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Keep us posted!

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