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 Posted: 2010-04-15 11:37 pm
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itsnowornever

 

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Hi, I am a bisexual woman who is married with two children and a very loving and accepting husband! I am also a nursing student who is in the middle of a rather large research paper. I am not sure if this is against the rules, if it is I will delete it and continue checking out the forum and chatting...that's why I mainly joined here.

I used to be a Christian and was utterly disgusted with the way they treat other people...especially those in the LGBT community. Because of my experience with this, I have been motivated to use this as a topic, with a focus on the Christian agenda to impede on the rights of the LGBT community. Being a married bisexual woman (whose husband is ok with me having relationships with other women...in fact, i have a darling friend who is involved with my entire household...just not sexually with my husband) I have a huge problem with this. If it got to be known who I am in real life, my family would raise hell and high water to have my children removed from my home. They would see this as an abomination--even though they (my children) have no idea the extent of my relationships...they merely have many people around them that genuinely LOVE them, and IMO that's what it's all about.

Anyway...I have found so much research on how the inequalities legally for the LGBT community has caused and increased substance abuse, drug abuse, depression and suicide that I wanted to see what others thought. As a whole it's difficult to be a minority, and that in and of itself has it's own special section in the psychology world...but to be a minority who has their own niche within their ethnic groups, the feeling of having too many "negatives" is seen as the cause to increase depression, etc. Now with the political world being in an uproar and the seemingly entire US battling over the rights of LGBT people, the Christian supporters have come out in groves to fund, support and deny many rights. With 70% of American's claiming to believe in God...it makes me wonder, how many in the LGBT world are having a difficult time being accepted, accepting who they are and just being themselves as a whole..and how many aren't? How many have had depression increase, not seen a change, or have  been so supported that they don't feel depressed at all?

Enough of my rambling...if you would so like, please take some time to answer a few questions and ask any questions of me that you would like. I am sure it seems suspicious that a new person is asking so much of you...and I can totally understand if no one wants to answer, or if I make any angry. if I do make anyone angry, i am so sorry!

1. At what age were you comfortable with your sexual orientation? At what age did you realize you were gay?


2. At what age were you comfortable talking with your family about your sexual preference? If you haven't yet, why?

3. If you are religious, what denomination are you?

4. Does your church know about your sexual orientation?

5. If so, do they make you feel welcome or as if you are doing something wrong? If your church is welcoming and accepting, would you feel just as comfortable walking into a church of another orientation?

6. Do you ever feel depressed because society often glosses over who you are or flat out denies you the same rights as heterosexual couples?

7. Do you feel comfortable with PDA in public? If so, why? If not, why?

8. Have you ever felt depressed either solely because, or increased because, of your sexual orientation? Have you ever felt that you have been dealt a "raw deal"? Has societies views, laws, ideas ever made you feel less than "normal" or unequal to heterosexuals?

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 Posted: 2010-04-16 03:27 am
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caballohiker

 

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In reply of your questions:
At what age were you comfortable with your sexual orientation? At what age did you realize you were gay?
In my late thirties. I was first attracted to my own sex at age 5 when I fell in love with my brother's 7 year old friend and I told my parents in front of their guest when their guest asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up I replied "I want to marry Clayton." After that the beatings and tortures started as my father wanted to "drive the devil out of me." So I went in the closet to the outside world as I believed I was cursed until in my late thirties I had gone to a seminary and discovered the Greek bible in which the German & English bibles were not translated right and the real bible makes no mention of men "having unnatural lust with one another." And in fact we no longer have the true bible. then I accepted homosexuality as perfectly natural. (In fact I have seen and both owned several gay animals.)

2. At what age were you comfortable talking with your family about your sexual preference? If you haven't yet, why? Never talked to my family about it except my younger sister for whom I told her on my 75th birthday as she was already accepting of gays as is her husband. The rest of my family were hard core Baptist and totally against anyone bi or gay.

3. If you are religious, what denomination are you? I am an ordained Christian minister and the outreach minister in my church; United Methodist. I attend church regularly.

4. Does your church know about your sexual orientation? My pastor does, but I think he may be gay too even though he is married and has a 13 year old obviously gay son he denies he is gay, but he acts and talks very fem. I asked him if he were bisexual and he said no, but I find it strange why he acts so fem and not be gay. Most of the others in my church do not like gays as they allege its in the bible, which of course it is not.

5. If so, do they make you feel welcome or as if you are doing something wrong? If your church is welcoming and accepting, would you feel just as comfortable walking into a church of another orientation? United Methodist is supposed to be accepting of gays, but when I have asked members about it they claim it is against God and misquote verses in the bible to back up their bogus claims, so I drop the subject with them. I would go to any church accepting gays, but there are none in my town and the nearest town with such churches is 80 miles away.

6. Do you ever feel depressed because society often glosses over who you are or flat out denies you the same rights as heterosexual couples? Absolutely even though I am actually bisexual and have been married to women I want everyone to be able to have the same equal rights as anyone else and am against religion dictating our government.

7. Do you feel comfortable with PDA in public? If so, why? If not, why? I don't know what PDA stands for.

8. Have you ever felt depressed either solely because, or increased because, of your sexual orientation? Have you ever felt that you have been dealt a "raw deal"? Has societies views, laws, ideas ever made you feel less than "normal" or unequal to heterosexuals? When I was younger, but by the time I was in my late thirties I felt it was normal to be gay or bi and that those that opposed it were abnormal or that something was mentally wrong with them.

Last edited on 2010-04-16 03:37 am by caballohiker

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 Posted: 2010-04-16 11:03 pm
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itsnowornever

 

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Thank you so much for your reply! It was indeed very helpful and you sound like a very very intelligent kind man.

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 Posted: 2010-04-17 01:36 am
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Admin



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Hi and welcome to the lgbtcommunityforum. I have to admit that just reading the word Christian makes me want to run for the hills. Why? Because they are out there in society demonizing who and what I am. That being said, I have been delighted to meet a few Christians who are actually all loving and very accepting.

Sure, I'll answer your questions -

1. At what age were you comfortable with your sexual orientation? At what age did you realize you were gay?

I realized I was gay around 23 years of age and promptly moved to San Francisco and came out. It was the best thing I could have done for myself as it was wonderfully fun to come out in the gay mecha of the world.


2. At what age were you comfortable talking with your family about your sexual preference? If you haven't yet, why?

It took me about 4 years or so before I came out to my parents. They live in the midwest and I knew it would not be easy for them. My only sister is gay as well so we decided to come out together. We knew it would be intense.

3. If you are religious, what denomination are you? I grew up Catholic but slowly separated from the religion after moving to S.F. and becomming comfortable with whom I am and relizing that the religion was full of judgments and "unlove". After attending a Catholic service recently as a memorial for a cousin who passed away I decided never to step in a church again. Why? Because the priest's sermon was quite political and he spent a good bit of time talking about how "they" were conquering gay rights.

I do believe in God and practice my spirituality without the need for organized religion.

4. Does your church know about your sexual orientation? N/A

5. If so, do they make you feel welcome or as if you are doing something wrong? If your church is welcoming and accepting, would you feel just as comfortable walking into a church of another orientation? N/A

6. Do you ever feel depressed because society often glosses over who you are or flat out denies you the same rights as heterosexual couples?
I have gotten past the depression and dissappointment. I think that living in SF, around an extremely accepting community made it so much easier to blossom into who I am and feel self-confident and proud about it. There is a rich lgbt community family out there. And, in some communities, very accepting straight folks too! I actually feel very happy to be living the life I am living. Especially happy that I did come to an understanding of my orientation early in life and had the strength to move to an accepting community.

7. Do you feel comfortable with PDA in public? If so, why? If not, why?
What is PDA?

8. Have you ever felt depressed either solely because, or increased because, of your sexual orientation? Have you ever felt that you have been dealt a "raw deal"? Has societies views, laws, ideas ever made you feel less than "normal" or unequal to heterosexuals?

In all honesty, I've never felt "less than" straight folks. Maybe it had to do with coming out in S.F. - but - I actually felt sorta superior (Can't believe I'm admitting that!). Of course I was full of pride and excitement when I first came out. Now I see everybody as equally the same - no better or no less - and everyone has the right to be who they want to be - as long as they are not hurting others.

Best of luck to you - enjoy the site! We have a bi-sexual section which you will find if you just scroll down a bit.

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 Posted: 2010-04-19 02:19 pm
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itsnowornever

 

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Thank you so much for your reply! I have had some sick kids lately, so haven't really had time to check this site out completely...but will do so as soon as they are better and I'm not playing nurse maid! LOL! And to make it harder, my little one is on steriods because of his illness...so not only is he sick, needly, and clingy...but oh so hyper!

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 Posted: 2010-07-28 04:23 pm
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ThatbiCanuck
Chris the Mod =D
 

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itsnowornever wrote: 1. At what age were you comfortable with your sexual orientation? At what age did you realize you were gay?I came out as bi at 15, though I've had a few physical atractions to men since I was 11
2. At what age were you comfortable talking with your family about your sexual preference? If you haven't yet, why?
It was easy to tell my friends, but when it comes to family only my dad knows, and he's very accepting :)
3. If you are religious, what denomination are you?


4. Does your church know about your sexual orientation?
 

5. If so, do they make you feel welcome or as if you are doing something wrong? If your church is welcoming and accepting, would you feel just as comfortable walking into a church of another orientation?

6. Do you ever feel depressed because society often glosses over who you are or flat out denies you the same rights as heterosexual couples?
Gotta love being in Canada, full equal rights! :)

7. Do you feel comfortable with PDA in public? If so, why? If not, why?
I am, I'm just not one of those people who runs around shoving it in people's faces.

8. Have you ever felt depressed either solely because, or increased because, of your sexual orientation? Have you ever felt that you have been dealt a "raw deal"? Has societies views, laws, ideas ever made you feel less than "normal" or unequal to heterosexuals?
No, no, and definatly no ^__^


Last edited on 2010-09-14 10:27 pm by ThatbiCanuck



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 Posted: 2010-09-09 07:58 am
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jr.bi.95

 

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1. At what age were you comfortable with your sexual orientation? At what age did you realize you were gay?

I've never been exactly uncomfortable with my sexual orientation, but very few people know that I am bi. I discovered my attractions to females when I was 12 years old.


2. At what age were you comfortable talking with your family about your sexual preference? If you haven't yet, why?

I haven't told any of my family because I know already from their reactions to other people that they are not at all accepting of my sexual orientation.

3. If you are religious, what denomination are you?

4. Does your church know about your sexual orientation?

5. If so, do they make you feel welcome or as if you are doing something wrong? If your church is welcoming and accepting, would you feel just as comfortable walking into a church of another orientation?

6. Do you ever feel depressed because society often glosses over who you are or flat out denies you the same rights as heterosexual couples?

As a Canadian, I have equal rights to everyone else, so, that's not a problem for me.

7. Do you feel comfortable with PDA in public? If so, why? If not, why?

Yeah, PDA's all right with me. I think the couples who make out practically every second they're together, and right in the middle of a hallway or something, so that it's nearly impossible to ignore are taking it a little too far. But I don't see the point in trying to hide everytime you want to give your bf/gf a kiss.

8. Have you ever felt depressed either solely because, or increased because, of your sexual orientation? Have you ever felt that you have been dealt a "raw deal"? Has societies views, laws, ideas ever made you feel less than "normal" or unequal to heterosexuals?

Not really, no and aside from my family, nope.

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